How To Pick An Engagement Ring

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Are you overwhelmed by the thought of picking an engagement ring? I get it – I was too! I also know that not everyone wants to be involved in the process, and that’s totally cool, too! This post will still be helpful for you. I’m addressing lots of common questions about how to pick an engagement ring, engagement itself, marriage and more. Keep reading so you can end up with a ring – and a life partner – that you will absolutely love for life!

Disclosure: I have a partnership with Mazzarese Jewelry and will be compensated for any posts involving them. As always, all opinions expressed are my own, and I only support and promote brands that I truly love and believe in.

wedding-related blog posts

I love all things wedding-related. It was such a special time in our lives and I will cherish it forever! I’m so glad we have so many photos, videos AND blog posts of mine to look back on.

In case you are new to Wellness For The Win (welcome!) and haven’t seen my previous wedding-related posts, I have linked them below for you:

• Round-up of all of our Kansas City wedding vendors
• Our professional wedding photos
• Wedding highlight video created by our incredible videographer is on my WFTW Facebook page here. I highly recommend checking that out!
• The story of how Ethan proposed to me
• Wedding Planning from a Type A Bride’s Perspective

Surprisingly, I have never really talked in much detail about where my ring came from, the engagement ring shopping process or how we chose my specific ring.

why i wanted to help pick out my engagement ring

I know some women prefer to be completely surprised when it comes to their engagement ring, but that’s not me. I’m not ashamed to admit that. If it’s going to be on my finger for the rest of my life, I kinda want to have a say in what it looks like. Some might think that is selfish, but I think it makes perfect sense! If you feel differently, that’s okay, too! To each their own.

With that being said, Ethan and I did some ring shopping before he proposed, and lots of it. We went to several different stores throughout Kansas City, and our experiences varied quite a bit at each one. Some did a great job of teaching us the “4 C’s” (cut, color, clarity, carat), and others basically ignored us until we flagged someone down. Some fell somewhere in between.

Like most girls, I had a Pinterest board full of engagement rings that I had seen and liked, but I still wasn’t 100% sure what I wanted. I always tell other women that you really don’t know what you want until you actually see it on your hand! I ended up not really loving some styles that I thought I would, and vice versa.

Even if you don’t want to go with your man, you might consider going with your BFF to see what you even like. That way she can relay the info (if you want her to, of course). This would also be a good opportunity for you to get sized if you do want to be totally surprised on the style. Otherwise, he can consult your mom, roommate or whoever about sizing, or steal one of your other rings and go from there.

why ethan was glad we looked at rings together

Honestly, I don’t think we necessarily “planned” to look at engagement rings together. If I remember correctly, we were out shopping together one day, came across a ring store, and decided to go in and check it out *just for fun*. At that point I was pretty dang confident that Ethan was the man I was going to marry, and we had talked about our future, but we had not talked about going ring shopping. I hadn’t really said much about rings before either, because I never wanted him to feel pressured to pop the question if he wasn’t ready.

Once I tried a couple rings on and showed Ethan what I liked, he realized that he really had no idea what I wanted prior to that. He told me that he would’ve picked something completely different (and not my style at all). It’s not his fault; most men just don’t feel super comfortable with that stuff. Some do! Sure, Ethan could’ve just referred to my Pinterest board or asked my best friends for guidance after that trip, but it was actually really fun to look together. It was exciting to imagine the next chapter of our relationship and our lives together.

how to choose a jeweler

After looking at what seemed like every jewelry store in Kansas City, we finally stumbled upon Mazzarese Jewelry. Well, Ethan did. It was like an answered prayer! I was actually sitting at home when he called me to come out and see what he found.

Mazzarese just has a different feel. When you walk through the doors, they immediately make you feel special and important. Almost as if you’re shopping for an item that marks the most exciting day of your life or something. ; ) Go with the place that gives you this feeling.

After trying on tons of different styles, Ethan and I both had a pretty good idea of what I did and did not want. Once I met the ladies at Mazzarese and tried on some of their rings, I hoped that was where my ring would come from. I just… trusted them. I could tell they had our best interest in mind.

Little did I know, after I left Mazzarese, Ethan stayed and bought the ring! He worked with the ladies there to determine what size/quality of diamond he wanted, and said he had it within a matter of weeks. Sure, I knew that looking at rings meant a proposal was coming… eventually. I had NO idea when, and I genuinely thought it was going to be in six months or more. Honestly, I wasn’t in a hurry at the time, and I didn’t bug Ethan about it at all. I decided that it would just happen when it happened.

What do you know? About 3-4 months after looking at rings, it did! If you watch the proposal video, you’ll know I was absolutely, completely in shock. So no, looking at rings together does NOT mean that you can’t still be surprised!

how do you make your boyfriend propose?

A few people asked me this question. While I know most of them were joking, I wanted to take a second to be serious and address it. It is a valid question, especially if you have been dating for a very long time! However, I want to remind you that it is a huge life decision. It is so important to make sure you are on the same page with your partner about your timeline and your wishes. It’s crucial to clarify that you do in fact want to marry that person, and that they feel the same way, especially if you are anxious and they seem to be in no hurry.

On that note, I also want to remind you that your relationship is yours. No one else’s! Don’t compare your timeline to others you see on social media getting married and having babies and buying houses and all of those big life things. We all move at our own pace, have different priorities and different stuff to deal with along the way. Quit worrying about everyone else. Focus on your relationship, first and foremost.

Another reminder: marriage is FOREVER. It’s not just a pretty ring and planning a fun party. It is those things, plus a lifetime full of a lot of hard (and fun) stuff with that one person. Make sure you are confident in the person you want to spend your life with. I totally understand wanting to get your life together started, but don’t rush into a lifelong commitment if you have even a shadow of a doubt.

communication is key in relationships

It is important to discuss whether or not you want to be involved in the ring shopping process, or any other things you might want him (or her) to know. PSA: men are not mind readers. In fact, they are quite the opposite. (No offense, men.) But if there is something specific that you want, don’t expect him to guess! Clearly communicate what it is that you want so that you can have open conversations about it. Especially if your expectations are unrealistic or don’t align with his thought process, timeline and/or budget.

Communicating effectively is the key to a happy and healthy marriage, so if that is something you struggle with now, work on it! Talk things out! Don’t expect big things like this to *magically* resolve when you get married if you don’t address it and work on improving it together. I’m no marriage counselor; I’m just speaking from experience!

How much do you spend on an engagement ring?

I got some questions about how to decide on a budget for a ring. Everyone’s relationship is different, but I personally had no say in the budget, and I didn’t want to. Ethan and I did not share finances or live together before we were engaged, so I left this completely up to him. I wanted him to spend the amount that he felt comfortable with, not break the bank just to get me what I wanted.

Ethan is a numbers guy, so he lives by a budget. He has a detailed spreadsheet and knows exactly how much is coming in and going out each month, and where that money is going. I assume he strategically saved up for this ring, just like he would any other large purchase. Whether you are buying a car, a house or an engagement ring, you have to consider your financial situation and make a decision that makes sense for YOU.

It is not worth it to purchase something that is way above your means. There are rings available at all different price ranges. I can’t tell you what is the “appropriate amount” to spend on a ring. We all have different situations and priorities. Use your best judgement, or consult a financial advisor if you need additional guidance. Keep in mind that you can always get more bands down the road to add bling or make it fancier when you have more money to spend.

why we still love mazzarese jewelry

To this day, I’m still so glad we chose Mazzarese. I have always been so incredibly happy with the service there. They know me by name and always make me feel welcome. They are willing to clean my ring whenever I want/need them to. When I had a loose diamond, they took care of it for me in house (most ring stores have to send it somewhere else for repairs), and I had my ring back within a matter of days. The people at Mazzarese are great at communicating. They gladly cleaned my mom’s rings for my wedding day, too, even though they didn’t come from there.

Mazzarese has high standards and only accepts diamonds of a certain quality in their store, so you know you are getting amazing quality and service every single time. I cannot recommend Mazzarese Jewelry enough for your engagement ring, and so much more! They have tons of other jewelry (every day rings, earrings, necklaces, watches, etc.) that would make great gifts for your fiance, spouse or family members.

mention me at mazzarese jewelry to save!

If you mention me when you go in, Mazzarese will give you 10% off of your first purchase. *Some exclusions will apply.

Lastly, I want to acknowledge that I truly would’ve been happy with any ring and style that Ethan chose for me, and it would be equally special to me. However, I genuinely enjoyed being involved in the process, and I still absolutely love my ring because of it. If you have the option, ability and/or desire to be involved in choosing your ring, I think you should be. Please don’t let anyone make you feel bad about that!

I hope this helped provide all of the tips you needed in order to know how to choose the perfect engagement ring when the time comes! As always, feel free to message me on Instagram @wellnessforthewin or leave a comment below with any questions or feedback! Pin this on Pinterest to help other future brides with the ring shopping process, and refer back to it yourself!

Thanks so much for reading. Happy shopping! 😉

Shanna